You might be surprised to learn that regret can sharpen leaders’ decisions, speed learning and development, and boost individual and team performance. In his talk at The Global Leadership Summit: Special Edition on February 24, 2022, Daniel Pink drew on an unprecedented two-year study of regret—one of the most misunderstood emotions. In this talk, he explored the four core regrets that people around the world share—and how addressing them can form the cornerstone of a vibrant organizational culture.
Enjoy these official notes from Daniel Pink’s session on The Power of Regret.
Turning the Page
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- After the last two years, we are about to reboot. We are about to get a fresh start.
- We are all facing a question right now: How can we build cultures in which people can do their best work and be their best selves?
- It starts with an emotion: regret.
What is Regret?
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- Regret is the stomach-churning feeling that the present would be better and the future brighter if only you hadn’t chosen so poorly, decided so wrongly, or acted so stupidly in the past.
- Regret is our most transformative emotion if we deal with it properly.
- Regret makes us human.
- Regret is ubiquitous.
- Regret, done right, makes us better.
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- Collected 18,000 regrets from people in 109 countries.
- Around the world, people express the same four regrets over and over again.
- Beneath the surface, there is a hidden architecture that transcends national boundaries.
4 Types of Regrets
1. Foundation Regrets
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- They are small decisions we make early in our life that compound to make bigger issues later in life. “I regret not saving money earlier in life…”
- Hemingway character: How did you go bankrupt? Gradually and suddenly.
“If only I’d done the work.”
2. Boldness Regrets
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- “If only I’d taken the chance.”
- This is especially true in the realm of work.
3. Moral Regrets
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- You’re at a juncture. You can do the right thing or the wrong thing. People do the wrong thing, and almost all of us regret it.
- There’s lots of regret bullying. “If only I had done the right thing.”
4. Connection Regrets
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- Connection regrets are about our relationships, not just our romantic relationships, the full suite of relationships we have (family, friends, colleagues).
- How do they come apart? They drift apart. “If only I had reached out.”
A Photographic Negative of the Good Life
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- Those 18,000 people were operating as a photographic negative of the good life.
- If they tell you what they regret the most, they tell you what they value the most.
- Humans need stability, growth, goodness, and love.
4 Core Regrets—What they sound like, and what the human need reveals.
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- Foundation: If only I’d done the work. Stability.
- Boldness: If only I’d taken the chance. Growth.
- Moral: If only I’d done the right thing. Goodness.
- Connection: If only I’d reached out. Love.
Lessons For Leaders
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- Foundation: Fair pay, predictability.
- Boldness: The psychological safety to learn, grow, explore, and speak up.
- Moral: Honesty, transparency, and purpose.
- Connection: Belonging, and genuine friendship.
People want to work for places that are good—places that are good are going to win the war for talent.
Simple Practices to Enlist Regret as a Tool to Get Better
Write a failure resume for yourself.
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- Write your failures in one column.
- Write the lesson you learned in the second column.
- Write what you’re going to do about it in the third column.
Form a regret circle with your team.
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- Person one shares their regret and the lesson they learned.
- The others share advice on how to deal with it.
Conduct a regret pre-mortem on your next big project.
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- Envision that the project fails. What did we do wrong?
- Go back to the present and do not do those things.
Create an island for boldness.
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- Carve out time and space for people to be utterly, unequivocally bold.
Place a phone call to yourself in 2032.
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- Call your future you. The you of 10 years from now is not going to care about a blue car, gray car, or what you’re having for dinner. They will care whether you built a stable foundation for family.
- What would you tell your best friend to do?
- Ask yourself, did I risk or act boldly? Did I act in love?
Daniel Pink
#1 New York Times Best-Selling AuthorGlobal Leadership Network
GLN Staff Writer | globalleadership.orgGLS22 Special Edition Notes—The Power of Regret
Published February 24, 2022TOPICS IN THIS ARTICLE
Complex ThinkingEmotional IntelligenceLeading YourselfLearning AgilityYou might be surprised to learn that regret can sharpen leaders’ decisions, speed learning and development, and boost individual and team performance. In his talk at The Global Leadership Summit: Special Edition on February 24, 2022, Daniel Pink drew on an unprecedented two-year study of regret—one of the most misunderstood emotions. In this talk, he explored the four core regrets that people around the world share—and how addressing them can form the cornerstone of a vibrant organizational culture.
Enjoy these official notes from Daniel Pink’s session on The Power of Regret.
Turning the Page
What is Regret?
The World Regret Survey
4 Types of Regrets
1. Foundation Regrets
“If only I’d done the work.”
2. Boldness Regrets
3. Moral Regrets
4. Connection Regrets
A Photographic Negative of the Good Life
4 Core Regrets—What they sound like, and what the human need reveals.
Lessons For Leaders
People want to work for places that are good—places that are good are going to win the war for talent.
Simple Practices to Enlist Regret as a Tool to Get Better
Write a failure resume for yourself.
Form a regret circle with your team.
Conduct a regret pre-mortem on your next big project.
Create an island for boldness.
Place a phone call to yourself in 2032.
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About the Author
Daniel Pink
#1 New York Times Best-Selling Author
Daniel Pink is one of the best-selling nonfiction authors of the last decade. His books on work, business and behavior have won multiple awards, been translated into 41 languages and have sold more than 3 million copies worldwide. Pink was host and co-executive producer of Crowd Control, a National Geographic Television series on behavioral science. He also appears frequently on NPR, PBS, and other TV and radio networks in the U.S. and abroad. He has been a contributing editor at Fast Company and Wired as well as a business columnist for The Sunday Telegraph. His articles and essays have also appeared in The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, The New Republic and other publications. For the last six years, London-based Thinkers50 has named him one of the top 15 business thinkers in the world. He received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Northwestern University, where he was a Truman Scholar and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa, and a Juris Doctor degree from Yale Law School. He has also received honorary degrees from several colleges and universities, including Georgetown University and the Pratt Institute. Pink is the best-selling author of 7 books including, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing named Amazon’s Best Business Book of 2018 and his latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, which releases in February 2022.
Global Leadership Network
GLN Staff Writer
The Global Leadership Network is a community committed to learning from each other and using our influence to accomplish God’s purposes on earth. No matter where your influence is, when you commit to grow your leadership, everyone around you wins—businesses work for good, communities are transformed and churches thrive! Both global and diverse, our network includes partners in 1,400+ cities and 135+ countries. We are committed to deliver fresh, actionable and inspiring leadership content both at The Global Leadership Summit, and year-round through our digital platforms.